The official blog of University of Missouri Skeptics, Atheists, Secular Humanists, & Agnostics
Been awhile since I’ve posted; hope everyone is doing great!
I think most of the people who read this blog probably know most or all of this stuff already, but allow me to dispel some myths about bisexuality for those who don’t:
Bisexual doesn’t mean promiscuous. Some bisexual people have or have had lots of partners and some don’t or haven’t, same as straight people and gay people etc.
Bisexual doesn’t mean non-monogamous. Some have or prefer open relationships and some don’t.
Bisexual doesn’t mean into threesomes/group sex. Some like sex with multiple partners simultaneously and some don’t.
Bisexual doesn’t mean unfaithful. Just because you find both blondes and brunettes attractive doesn’t mean you’re going to cheat on your blonde girlfriend for a brunette. It doesn’t work like that.
Bisexual doesn’t mean unsure of one’s orientation. It’s true that some gay people identify as bisexual as a stepping-stone to test the waters on their path to realizing they’re gay and/or coming out as gay, but this is not to say bisexuality doesn’t exist in itself. Bisexual does not mean secretly gay. If someone tells you s/he’s bisexual, it is not your place to question this.
Bisexual doesn’t mean “transvestite” (this word can be pejorative as distancing language) or cross-dresser. Some bisexual people like to dress in more feminine clothes or more masculine clothes but that really has little, if anything, to do with their orientation.
Bisexual doesn’t mean trans. Bisexual does not mean a person wishes they had different genitalia than they do, or that they want to be called different pronouns than those that are traditionally associated with the sex assigned to them at birth. Some trans* people are also bisexual but they are independent things.
Bisexual doesn’t mean kinky. Some bisexual people are and some aren’t.
Bisexual doesn’t mean oriented right down the middle (necessarily). Many bisexual people are more attracted to women than they are to men, or vice versa. It’s not black-and-white like that.
Bisexual doesn’t mean a person doesn’t take safe sex seriously, or that a person is more likely to have a sexually transmitted infection.
A person does not have to have been in any variation of a relationship in order to say they’re bisexual. Having been in a “same-sex” relationship, or having been in both a “same-sex” and “straight” relationship at different times, does not “legitimize” a person’s bisexuality. There is no such thing as a “legitimate” bisexual person.
Guys, it is extremely egocentric and insulting to imply that bisexual women or lesbians who are affectionate with other women in your presence are doing so for your benefit. This is not to say that some women (even those who are straight) don’t do this for attention from men, but if you know someone to be bisexual, don’t assume that their sex life has anything to do with your sex life unless you are partners.
Oh, and if you’re fine with bisexual relationships between two women but think bisexual relationships between two men are gross, guess what? You’re still a bigot, but hopefully after reading this, at least you won’t be an ignorant one.
Until next time!
Dave Muscato is the Public Relations Director for American Atheists based in Cranford, New Jersey, where he blogs regularly at http://www.atheists.org. An atheism activist, blogger, and public speaker, he is also a board member of MU SASHA. He is a vegetarian, LGBTQ ally, and human- & animal-welfare activist. Dave posts updates to the SASHA blog when he has time; and he also blogs for the Humanist Community at Harvard and SkepticFreethought.com. His website is http://www.DaveMuscato.com
and don’t forget… other SASHA members! We are here for you, too!